Exams and Problems

Finally.

It is over.

Well, nearly. I still have one more: English. Which is, really, not much to worry about. I mean, of course I still have to worry, but then not as much as organic chemistry anyway. And I still have a presentation to go, which really worries me since I'm such a bad public speaker.

Nah. Now the real problem comes.

Packing. Yes, packing, dear. You have to start packing.

And it's really annoying. GRAAAAAA. I have to call a van as well to move my stuff. And have to search for card boxes to put my things in. Why? Why is packing becoming more and more stressful each day? Can I not enjoy the freedom I finally gained after 2 weeks of studying? (although come to think of it, it's really not much since my other friends started revising soooo loooong ago)

Okay, conclusion, packing is annoying.

Actually I just wanted to share a personal experience.

A while ago, at night, I was quite sick. I hadn't finished revising, and the exam is literally, like, the next day. I was just back from student community gathering, and as I started to look through all the formulas, I felt like vomitting. Thank, thank, thank Jesus I didn't. And I couldn't open my eyes as well. I was so stunned by my physical condition. I just couldn't get through it anymore so I decided to sleep and wake up earlier the next day to continue revising.

I mean, this is really ridiculous. It hasn't happened to me before. Seriously. I once fell sick RIGHT before the exam, and I was fully prepared that time. But this time? I'd only finished like, half of the materials I was supposed to revise. Oh dear.

Then, in the morning, it was even worse. My right eye hurt sooo much. And I still felt like vomitting. I was like, "God, why is this happening? I haven't fully revised!" I know it's partly my fault, since I hadn't got enough sleep for the past few weeks anyway. But then, I was like, God should know my study habit, which is that I have to study RIGHT THE NIGHT BEFORE THE EXAM. Otherwise I can't remember a thing. Seriously.

Okay. Then I had my quiet time, although I wasn't really concentrating. "My right eye hurts, and I haven't fully revised." That was the only thought running through my mind. And then, when I prayed, I prayed so hard, something like "God please please please let me pass, let the exam be really easy..." etc. And finally I reached a point where I couldn't take it anymore.

I admitted to God, "Lord, I'm so scared. Help."

Even though I know it's still partly my fault. Or probably all my fault. So I was kinda doubting that, you know, God would help me. My mind was playing with me, saying something like "You know that's your fault, it's your responsibility, you have consequences to bear."

But hey, I finally realised that Jesus is really bigger than anything else.

I was suddenly struck by a verse. I didn't look for it, no. It just suddenly came to my mind.

And it was a verse that I wouldn't expect to find in times like this. Usually the typical verses that will come to my mind is something like Philippians 4:13.

This time, it was Matthew. Chapter 8 verse 26.

But He said to them:

"Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?"

and so on.

I was a little offended at first. Little faith. Haha.

But then it kinda suits me.

Then I was struck. It was as if Jesus Himself spoke to me.

Which is why I finally relaxed a bit and put everything in Him. I prayed that I might relax and just trust in Him, and do what I could for the rest of the time I'd got.

You know how it turned out? Beautiful. Just like that very story in Matthew 8 where Jesus calmed the storm.

He calmed the storm for me. Even though it was my fault.

My eyes gradually began to not hurt, and the sick feeling was gone. Just like that. The best part is, the questions asked in the exam were not complicated at all. No questions related to graphs were asked. Miraculously I could answer all the questions even though my revision wasn't maximal.

I won't know the result until it comes out, and even if it's not as good as I expect, it's fine. It's my fault, anyway.

But do you see my point?

Even if it's your fault, when you turn to Jesus, He's bound to be there for you. He's just waiting for you to shout to Him. And He really helps you. Wonderfully. Beautifully.

Oh dear. He's just soooo good. Too good, even.

Nah, that's what I want to share. Hope it becomes a blessing =)

-Rin-